Thursday, April 28, 2005

Whacked. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but I am really not in the mood to blog these days. Maybe it’s the absence of topics. Maybe it’s the deficiency of inspirations. Maybe it’s the nonexistence of the strength to be honest. All three are very important when one writes. This may be just a blog, nothing really that big but I don’t want this to be just like any other blog. And I sure don’t want this to be just like a planner. Those things are sold in the bookstore, besides, not even half of your reading public really cares about what you have done the last 24 hours.

Life is a bitch. It is. I may see life as something really beautiful but even bitches sell. Sometimes you just wanna cry because life is very unfair. How can I be living a rather comfortable life when my siblings back in Cavite are just happy to get by? I have been feeling so useless these days. I can’t do anything that big about my mom’s miseries. Why? I do not know. My lola Sion told me that all my mom’s brothers and sisters are furious at her. I was affected. My mom told me that she may have been a disobedient daughter, a bad sister and an ineffective mother but those do not make her a bad person. She is right. I admire my mom’s optimism. These days, she has proven that she is a strong woman and that she isn’t the type who easily gives up. I e-mailed 2 of my mom’s brothers-one in the States, the other one in Japan. Her youngest and closest brother-my gay uncle- has already replied. He told me that he is more than happy to help my mom. He did not sound mad at my mother at all. I know it’s bad but I called my lola a ________ in my mind. What got through her to tell me that all my mom’s brothers and sisters are mad at her, I do not know. She just made the situation worse. Those are all that I can divulge for now.

If you think you have seen it all in the soap operas shown in the television, wait ‘til you hear my whole story!! Calling all producers and directors! I am willing to share this to you for a hefty sum of money!! Haha!!

If I may digress, I enjoyed XXX 2 a lot. I watched it with my dad and itoy this afternoon. I liked it better than the 1st one!

That was all folks!! Thanx for being one with the fabulous epal!! God bless us all!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

He’s almost gone. I have met Mr. R just a few days ago. He is such a fine young man. We were good friends. He told me stories about him; I shared with him my experiences. Everything was fine until he told me that he likes me and I told him that I like him. Not long after that, he decided to court me. He would call me every now and then and check on me. We would talk until the break of dawn. This guy is very sweet. I told myself, “It could be him.” I have never felt kilig in such a long while. I was on the verge of saying yes to him when last night, he told me that he’s not sure anymore if he still likes to continue courting me. Aghhhhh. Bummer!! He told me he likes to think things out first. I told him not to call me until he’s sure what he wants to do. Until then, I’ll be waiting. Hayyyyyy. ‘Yun lang…

That was all folks!! Thanx for being one with the fabulous epal!! God bless us all!!

Monday, April 11, 2005

Cheat-charon. Watching the first few minutes of The Emperor’s Club, you might think that you’re seeing another Dead Poets’ Society flick. But later on, you’ll realize that it is something different compared to the Robin Williams’ starrer. Kevin Kline is in all his greatness as the history professor and assistant headmaster Mr. Hundert. He is very effective as a teacher. He made me remember Ma’am Dumawal and Mrs. Clemente back in HS. He inspires his students to study hard until one day a stubborn Senator’s son came to the exclusive school. Sedgewick Bell, played by Emile Hirsch tests the patience of his professor. But Mr. Hundert did not give up on Sedgewick. Soon, Sedgewick appreciates the efforts of his professor and started to study his lessons. He was even given the chance to join the Mr. Julius Caesar quiz, an annual history bee. Sedgewick was not supposed to be in the contest; he fell short. But since he is now Mr. Hundert’s favorite student, the teacher made ends meet. Instead of including the more deserving Martin Blythe in the top 3, he gave the spot to the young Bell. At the contest, he was impressed at how his 3 chosen students performed until he realized that Sedgewick was cheating. He informs the headmaster of this knowledge but his superior told him to let it go and continue with the quiz. He pushes through with the bee but asks Bell a question he knows the cheater is not prepared to answer. Bell finished as the bridesmaid in the competition. He confesses to Hundert that, yes, he cheated. But asks him why he did not bring it up. Hundert offered no answer.

The following years, Sedgewick continued to be the popular jackass. He never studied his lessons again after the incident. He graduated but Hundert failed him. Because his dad is a senator, he got admitted to Yale. After 25 years, Bell requests for a rematch and asks Hundert to be the quizmaster. He flies to the ranch of the uber-rich and successful Bell only to be disappointed because he still cheated. But Mr. Hundert, now old and still wise, still did not allow him to win by asking a question the “feeder” of Sedgewick cannot answer. He confronted Sedgewick about what he had discovered but Mr. Bell wasn’t sorry. He even told Mr. Hundert that no one cares about the latter’s principles. And that he will get where he wants to even if it means that he has to cheat.

The movie, directed by Michael Hoffman, is an entertaining drama. It was set in the 1970’s but it showed us the signs of our times. We have cheaters in the government and as long as people tolerate such misconduct, a breed of new cheaters will be elected to office. I have never found cheating appealing. In school, I find it unfair. I spend hours studying but still find some of my classmates cheat and some of them even get higher scores than I do. I do not divulge to the whole class that I despise cheating but sometimes, I find myself crying at how unfair the practice is. Oh well, God is fair but life isn’t.

That was all folks. Thanx for being one with the fabulous epal God bless us all!!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

I don’t know. This computer did not work for days. It was tough. I am not used to not using the PC in any given summer day but I had to because I had no choice. When I discovered that the PC was not working and I brought it out, it stirred emotions particularly from one monkey I am living with. He was too defensive. He even brought out pains that he had been keeping inside him. But of course I did not let myself get affected. This monkey I am talking about is one of the best liars (“liers”- Kevin, hehehe) in the world. He would cry whenever he is blamed of different things. I just hate him!! There are some instances that some of my possessions would be missing and I would ask him if he got them, he would answer with conviction that they are not with him so convincing is his acting that you would almost think that he’s innocent. But of course the opposite has been proven for many times. His soul deserves to be burnt in hell or maybe it is being burnt as of the moment. He is guilty of lying, envy, and over-acting.

Now that the computer is already working, I can say that at least something good happened to me this day. Our relatives came to visit us today. They came particularly to see my dad. Our family (father’s side) is relatively small. They are a brood of four but their one and only sister is in Canada so that makes three of them in the Philippines. But of course my dad works abroad so that only leaves 2 of them here. All in all, I have 7 cousins. 2 of them are with my aunt in Canada so that leaves just 5 here. But that “just 5” always get to my nerves whenever we see each other. I find them annoying. Why? Because they are!! I wasn’t really close to them ever since. They would play inside our room and mess up with my things. They would also loiter and litter in the sala. They are younger than me that’s why I find them really makulit and immature. Look who’s talking. Their boisterous laughter and their over-eating are my issues with them plus of course the fact that they always mess with my things inside our room especially my beddings. Last night, I have already been thinking of excuses on how I can elope from the house which is to be converted to daycare center in just a few hours. I was invited to Cathy’s 18th birthday today so I thought that would be a perfect reason for my get-away. But I thought that my dad would not allow me to go. So I thought that since my dad wants me to get a new haircut (I just had my haircut days before he arrived but it was not enough for him. He always tells me that my hair is too long. Ok.) then I will get one- in a salon in SM Manila so I can spend some time going around the mall or hopping instead of going crazy inside the house. But of course, as fate had it, none of my plans transpired. There I was- quiet throughout the day. People who know me well know that when I am annoyed, I keep quiet. Finally after almost 8 hours, the house is cleared and everything is back to normal. But I am still quiet- because I have no one to talk to. Pray for my mom, please. She is pregnant. She is fabulous. She is a casino-addict. Oh things in Life!!

That’s all folks. Thanx for being one with the fabulous epal!! God bless us all!!

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

My dad is here as you all know. He is okay. It has been an enjoyable ride so far. He wasn’t that thin anymore compared to how he was when he first returned home. I am gonna write it again, my dad is a great dad; he is an awesome provider. He worked hard for everything that he gives us. He was not born rich. I was not born rich. We are still not rich but we get by. That’s ok.

I already got my grades online yesterday! Dale told me at 12 midnight the other day that he got his grades already. I have been itching to get mine since then but I cannot use the computer anymore since it’s already 12 AM. I woke up early morning and went straight to the UST website and viewed my grades. I already had a plan that if my grades are really low then I will not show them to my dad. If he asks me where my grades are, I will answer that they are still not available. I will only divulge them to him once he has left and explain why my marks are that disappointing. But I was surprised at how things went. I actually fared better this time compared to how I did last Sem. I showed my grades right away to my dad. He was happy. I was ecstatic. My lowest grade is in Eco. I got a 2.25. But I am happy because I think my prelim grade in the aforementioned subject is between 2.75-2.5. I aced English. I knew I can ace the subject ever since I scored 57 in our Prelim exam plus our teacher gives really good incentives. The biggest surprise though was in CWG. I actually got a 1.75. Of course I know that I did really well in that subject (and I deserve a mark greater then 1.75 if we base it on performance). It’s just that our teacher and I just don’t get along really well that’s why I did not anticipate a grade higher than 2.5. But thank God, I got a 1.75. I also congratulate my classmate Tanikala because we computed his grades lat night while chatting and if our computations are correct then he is in a good place to be. But of course I know Hershey did really well!! I also congratulate all my classmates who passed and got really high scores in our subjects. For those who have failing marks, let me reiterate this: There is always a “next time” but chances are elusive. You gotta study harder and do not abuse or let go of the chances given to you!!

That’s all folks!! Thanks for being one with the fabulous epal!! God bless us all!!

Monday, April 04, 2005

The day I was banned to take a bath. Oops let’s not delve there first. I know I am stinky today but let’s concentrate first on what happened yesterday. The whole world knows by now that the well-loved Pope John Paul II is dead. His remains now lie at the Vatican where thousands of mourners are and where thousands more are expected to arrive in the coming days. He died 3:37 AM Manila time. I was still awake then but of course the TV was not on. I can still remember how I saw lightning or was I just hallucinating? I was saddened of course, just like everybody else. He was a good man. He was the most-traveled Pope but he traveled for a cause. He has done so many things. He did not just make changes concerning Religion and Catholic faith; he was also behind some historic Socio-political reforms.

I am actually feeling a lot better now. But yesterday, we went to the manhihilot. I do not think there is an English translation for that term. And that’s when the banning started. After what she did to me, she had said that I cannot take a bath tomorrow (today). Of course, I am abiding by it. I fear that if I do not abide, then my condition might worsen.

And so I did not take a bath, and I am not taking it. I know it’s one difficult task to do especially on a Summer day-good thing it isn’t really hot today. I started my day at 7 AM. I went to the church to hear mass. It was a thanksgiving mass for my dad. I was not confident because I did not take a bath. There were no kuya’s in the church- most of the people there were old people-but I was still not confident. But it was not important anymore. I thanked the Lord for all the good things that came my way these past few days. One: I have been feeling better. Two: I spent 2 hours of my time yesterday with my mom at the mall. Three: My dad is arriving.

Yes, after 6 months he is returning today. In fact, I just talked to him on the phone. I know he works so hard just to give us a better life. He is a good father. He is an awesome provider. We may not have as much as other people might have, but we’re okay. I love my dad. I may not be taking a bath today but I am taking in all the good things God is giving me.

That’s all folks. Thanx for being one with the stinky but still fabulous epal!! God bless us all!!

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Clear This. It is Saturday and it’s official. I am not going to Arianne’s birthday party. I have wanted to go for a long time now and as a matter of fact, I have already bought some thing to wear. But as fate would have it, I have been sick for a week now and my dad is arriving on Monday. I am not the only one who is not going. Sorry Aianne. But I think every one passed on this one. Today is also clearance day. I woke up wet with sweat at 9:30- just in time for me to take up my medicine. I made my way to the parlor and got my hair done. I actually love the look.

I got to school wet with sweat. I saw the monster. I saw the ape. You know who I am talking about. But when I got inside the room, I was ecstatic to see my normal classmates. When I heard the news that many failed Eco, I was nervous. I might have failed Eco, or worse, I might have flunked Geo, and worst I might have not passed both. But thank God, I passed all my subjects. I am also happy for my classmates who have passed all their subjects. But I definitely feel for my classmates who have received failing marks. Now, they are gonna spend their summer in school making up for what they have missed. But if there’s any consolation, at least they have allowance.

Before, I used to think that it’s kinda hi-tech that we get our grades on the internet. But now, I have realized the setback. Most of our professors have let us view our prelim grades. But very few have informed us how our grades got computed. Some of them did not even show us our prelim test papers. Now that some of my classmates failed, will they even get the chance to cry “foul!” or will they just have to sit their asses taking up again the subjects they hate? I know that it takes two to tango. Those guys sure have had their shortcomings too. But they/ we should at least be given the chance to be enlightened how our grades are computed. It’s the right thing to do. But for those who have failing grades, if you think you really deserve them, then just study harder next time. But to Tocarra, you know who you are; you have been given tons of chances. Hershey Abnoy has also been of great help to you. Next time make sure, you do not let go of these opportunities. We understand where you are coming from; that’s why many have been extending their hands to you. We love you and we still wanna see you next year- we still wanna see you ‘til the time we graduate. Oh I am getting to emotional. I have to end this. I hope that next time our professors will clear the smoke. After all clearance’s root word is clear.

That’s all folks!! Thanx for being one with the fabulous epal!! God bless us all!!