the end of an era

oh how i miss blogging!

fortunately or unfortunately, i have been really busy these past few months that i refrained from updating my blogspot. school can totally cut ties.

these four months got me to thinking that maybe i should just quit this. and i will. :'(

***

last week, i went to cavite to visit my uncle who's a us navy based in japan. he went here for a short vacation and by the time i saw him, he had only one day left here in the phil.

i was reluctant to go there as my mom and i were not in good terms. oh what else is knew? turned out, my mom's pregnant again, this time with her eighth child. i mean, come on! who wants eight children these days when everything just seems tough? and we're not even talking about my mom's condition.

if she were rich, had a decent job, had a millionaire boyfriend, and were bathing in money, then by all means, she could produce all offsprings she wanted. but my mom has neither of those conditions i mentioned. she's broke, has no job, has an addiction to gambling, and is stuck with a good-for-nothing boyfriend. and they still have the audacity to pop another baby?

don't get me wrong. i love my mom to the bones. but it's just extremely frustrating that everyone's rooting for her, everyone wants to see her well, and she ignores all these, and still manages to mees her already fu(ked up life! i just hope she straightens up, thinks of all the lives she's dragging into this mess. there is hope.

***

there was this one relative i really did not know who that was in cavite when i had visited. he's a frail man around his 50's and has dark skin. my cousin tambe and i were joking around in front of her father (my us navy uncle) when the unknown relative butted in and said, "alam mo ba, ang mga bakla, hindi tinatanggap sa langit?"

I gave him the look which exclaimed, "well, i really don't care about what you think!"

i shunned the man, but it was too hard to shun what he said.

two things:

i know several gay guys have been told that, and now i know how it feels.

i want to go to heaven. and i am hoping my sexual preference will not be the final consideration if i should move to paradise or not. because i am happy with my sexuality. you can judge me with my actions and my speech. but spare me from condemnation, just because i am this.

***

i was not allowed to enroll last wednesday because i was considered an irregular student--the very first time, and what a time to come, when i am already in my last sem as a journalism student?

our thesis adviser gave me and my groupmates a grade of "incomplete" as we failed to revise our thesis on time.

i've also seen my grades and i had mixed emotions. i was happy because i did not incur a grade of 3 in any of my subjects. there were rumors circulating that if you had gotten a grade of 3 in any of your subjects then you could kiss your dreams of getting any of the latin honors goodbye. getting the grade of incoplete, i was told, will not affect my chances. so i am still hoping that once our thesis adviser releases our grade, he would not give us 3 or lower. i was sad however because i still did not make it to the dean's list this sem whereas most of my classmates did. don't get me wrong, i was really happy for them, especially those who made it for the first time.

and i am also looking at the brightside. well at least now, i have an idea of how well i should do in the coming second--and last--semester.

wish me luck!! sana hindi na talaga ako tamarin!

***

also last wednesday was the culminating day of inkblots 2007. the fellowship night capped the three-day event, participated in by students from schools in metro manila, to as far as cagayan, bicol, palawan and general santos. beat that!

after the delegates had eaten and left, the staff, including the amihans and my epal self, proceeded to eat. the food was delish, as always.

the following morning, i found myself sick with an upset stomach.

i had never been that sick for a while. my stool was watery (sorry for the details), and i had to be rushed to the hospital. the doctors subjected me to different tests to find what's wrong.

one test was really painful. i felt violated. i'll spare you the details. gross!

my doctors considered confining me in the hospital but changed their minds and allowed me to go home and just rest, instead.

turned out it was acute gastritis, and i was not the only one suffering from it. i had been told half of the v staff were also in pain.

good thing, we're all fine now!

***

yes, i will be quitting this.

but i am moving forward.

this is the end of my blogspot era. it had been a special experience. i had this baby for a couple of years. i was even close to being suspended from school because of this.

but it's time to move on.

however, i would like to thank those who have been part of this tiny web space. thank you to aika and rafael, two of the best web designers in the world for taking care of my blog's aesthetics! thank you to my links. and most especially, thank you to my readers, who were patient enough to spare some time to read all the bs i dished out!

this is the end of an era.

i'm moving to multiply! see you there.

-end-