my mother part 1

Ideal Mother- is not a Stepford wife, cool, understanding, loving, caring.

I do not know. I feel like shit tonight.

My mother’s still addicted to the casino. My mother’s still loves easy money. My mother still depends on my grandparents. My mother still leaves my siblings in Cavite to go to the casino. My mother still does not get sufficient amount of sleep. My mother’s still not the woman I used to know.

I still love my mother.



It just breaks my heart. It broke my heart when my mom and my dad got separated. But it breaks my heart even more to see my mom like that. She has given birth to 5 children since she and my dad parted ways.

It breaks my heart when I see my mom’s life all messed up. It breaks my heart that they don’t live a comfortable life there in Cavite. It breaks my heart to know that she has to fight with his older brother there just to get her share. It breaks my heart that she has to take care of 5 kids and an almost unproductive partner and in the process forget about herself.

You can’t just imagine the pain that I am feeling. It’s always a different issue when it’s about my mom.

All I wanna see is a mother who wants to be better for her kids. I want her to feel better. I want her to live better. I don’t want my mom getting hurt. But I know with what I have done, I had hurt her too. Shouting at her on the phone was not easy, knowing that she is borrowing money from me for the nth time was not easy.

I am heart-broken. No one breaks my heart the way my mom does. And I still love her.

Please forgive for the incoherence. I cannot find a better way to let the pain that I am feeling out.

Life sucks.

You can go find your princes. I am not in the mood to search for frogs. God bless us all.

kuyas galore

Kuyas- genetically-gifted men. You can look at them. You can fantasize about them. But you cannot have all of them. Of course, I am an exemption.

These 3 guys are, for me, the kuyas of September:

Yael Yuzon



O my gosh!! Just which girl in high school or in college does not know this guy? He may not be the handsomest rocker there is, but this guy can just sweep you of your feet with the way he sings, and the way he performs on stage. I used to liked Armo better but when I saw them perform live, I discovered that Yael is 20 Centigrade hotter.

He is last seen in his band’s video Gemini. I love that song. I can’t help but smile whenever I hear them sing it. My favorite lines:

“The vacuous night steps aside to give meaning to Gemini’s dreaming. The moon on it back and the seemingly veiled room’s lit by the same star.”

But there are rumors circulating that this guy is bisexual? Bummer? Not really!! Hehehe!!

Liam Aiken



When the movie Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Event came out, I was no really excited to see it. I did not pay attention. And I did not go to watch the film.

I regretted that when I saw Oprah one day interviewing Jim Carrie who was then promoting the flick. After Jim, she interviewed the fab Meryl Streep. I was already loving the show when this kid entered the picture. He was soooooo cute. He made me love the show even more. He was just there, quietly listening to the answers of his co-stars. And there I was, blushing because of his cuteness. He plays klaus baudelaire in the movie.

You can also see him in his other films: Road to Perdition, Sweet November, and Stepmom.

Victor Basa




Have you gotten yourself a copy of Cosmo’s 69 Bachelor Centerfolds or something to that effect? Me? I yet to get myself my own copy. But since I think you have seen it at least, then Victor Basa is no stranger.

He is that guy who seemed to post nude (I doubt) with only a pail of paint covering his dingdong. I first saw the guy in a spread in the Philippine Star’s Y Style for cooler-than-cool Viktor Jeans last year. He was with Kristel who incidentally is a Journalism student in UST.

I got to visit his blog two weeks ago. This guy has got some brains too.

Sorry to bust your bubbles, but he is taken. But the girl is not really that pretty.

One word: beefcake.

Go find your princes while I find my frog!! God bless us all!!

ROAR FOR FOUR

School Pride- It is when you get excited to see a game or a competition where your school is one of the participants to the point that you cannot sleep the night before. You prepare the next day only to see yourself with the rest of your friends wait for one of your companions for two staggering hours. Peace. You then go to the venue and watch the competition even if your feet are aching due to the unavailability of seats. You cheer on top of your lungs with the rest of the crowd. You raise your fist and pride.

Yes. Maybe today was school pride at its best. I have been anticipating the 2005 Cheer Dance Competition the whole season. We got the tickets the moment the distributor started selling them in Araneta big thanks to my classmates who went there just to save our asses from ticket extinction.

Cheering is such a big deal for UST. Yes, UST has won the most General Championships in the history of UAAP but all UAAP sports are not televised except for Basketball. For the past three years, Santo Tomas has not shown what Tiger Power is all about in Men’s Basketball. We looked like kittens. But every time the Salinggawi and the Yellow Jackets victor in the CDC, the Thomasians (and the ASPIRING Thomasians) think that the win is already enough to compensate for the poor showing of the Tigers in basketball and for retribution. That just goes to explain while UST has one of the largest crowd turnout in the CDC.

Last year, I was contented watching the competition in the comfort of our sala. But this year is different. I, together with the rest of my friends decided to see the competition live- in flesh. We agreed to meet at Goldilock’s at 11 AM today. I came in 20 minutes late. But lo and behold, the bunch is still not complete even if many of us have come straight from English practice. Bangge was still not there. To make matters worse, she has Jenny’s ticket. Bangge arrived almost two hours later. Miscommunication. I refuse to elaborate.

We hurried to Araneta. Outside Araneta, many still took their chance if they can get tickets even from scalpers. Inside Araneta was where the action was. It was filled to the rafters. Any claustrophobic would not dare go in. There were no more seats available. No more balloons, too. Had I known that there were no more seats for the taking, I would have had taken a seat during our LRT ride. My legs ached from my non-stop jumping and cheering.

Anticipation for UST’s performance was enjoyable because many squads stepped-up their routines this season.

1 ½ hours later, it was UST’s turn. The crowd went wild. ‘Gawi’s Non-Stop cheer was hair-raising. It will take a long time for me to forget how the audience was screaming and shouting, how the Yellow Jackets beat their percussions, how that black cloth covered almost the whole of the court, how the SDT performed the cheer. It was like being in Brazil for the Carnival. It was magical.

Waiting for the results was nerve-racking. You can just feel the tension and anxiety among the audience from the different participating schools. FEU was third. The moment UP was declared 2nd, the UST pack just went crazy. Based on the Mapua cheering experience, I was scared that another school might snatch the victory from UST and we had just made fools of ourselves by expecting that we had won and by celebrating that early.

Thank GOD, UST SDT & YJ was able to ROAR FOR FOUR!!

The margin was not great. But I know the whole Thomasian Community will take it.

The stunts performed by UST during the school cheer part may not be as creative or as extravagant as that of UP’s or FEU’s, but they were synchronized. The Non-Stop cheer part was no competition. UST had it in the bag.

If I were to judge the 7 other teams based on what was most pleasing to me to the team that pleased me the least, things would have turn out this way:

2nd Place- FEU. This is the second time that I think that FEU is more deserving than UP to grab that 2nd place finish. I think that their school cheer part was the most creative. They had one stunt similar to that of UST- when they formed 4 groups then used their cheerers for an early “exchange gift”. Their non-stop cheer however was mediocre.

3rd Place- UP. Surprise, surprise, they did not go for the velvet costume this year. Nonetheless, the UP Pep Squad remains great. I am sure that had they been successful converting that one stunt they failed to convert, they would have stopped UST’s winning streak. Their Non-Stop cheer was amazing with all the booty-shaking they did and their costume ala Tina Turner.

4th Place- Adamson. They were almost synchronized, almost amazing, almost in the Top 3.

5th Place- DLSU. There was news spreading that the choreographer of DLSU for this season was a former member of the UST SDT- no wonder they have improved a lot. I also liked the fact that the boys spent more time dancing this time. I cannot see them from where I was standing but something tells me that DLSU boys, with all their heads shaved, are cute.

6th Place- NU. They had one very big mistake. I love the underdogs that’s why I placed them here. I also like the stripes in their costumes. They looked like bees/ peanut butter.

7th Place- UE. Their stunts were undeniably fantastic. They specialize in ballet, gymnastics and street. But something tells me the reason why they had different stunts for different groups was not because they had different specializations but because they cannot do it the synchronized way.

8th Place- ADMU BBB. No offense meant for the only team which had their female cheerers wear skirts (OP?). Maybe it was the pressure of going first that got the best of them. But what I loved most about this team was the flair of their percussionists- they were a sight to behold. Bring back the fat lady front liner and make her do the belly dance again!!

All in all, it was an enjoyable (understatement) show. Capoeira seemed to be the biggest trend this season. UST started the trend last year. Next year, I have to think hard whether I’ll see the competition live. The atmosphere there was just crazy but jumping and screaming was just too exhausting. At least at home, I can enjoy the show sitting down. But the problem is, I’d be the only to cheer for UST. I do not know if I can get lola, ate Agnes, and itoy to also root for Santo Tomas.

Go find your princes while I find my frog!! God bless us all!!

P.S. Survivor Guatemala is now being telecast by Studio 23 every Friday at 1 pm and at 8 pm. Aside from the new castaways (there are a new bunch of cuties and hotties this season- for girls and boys and the pretending to be of course.), Bobby John (who gained some weight) and Stepehnie from Survivor Palau are back to play. We’ll just see how the two figure out in the coming episodes. As for the premier, Stepehenie who is playing for Yaxha eneded her losing streak as her team won the first Immunity challenge. Bobby John who is playing for Nakum, got seriously dehydrated after their first Reward Challenge which was a 24-hour jungle race. Jim, the old man from Nakum was the first castaway to be sent packing.

achuchuchu

tomorrow...

we shall find out if the UST Salinggawi Dance Troupe can make history.

we shall see if UTSDT's ROAR FOR FOUR will be a success.

is cheerdance judgment day. sept 17, 2005, 2 pm, araneta coliseum.

go find your princes while i find my frog!! God bless us all!!

Ako ay isang proud UAAP fan

1 4 UST- sinisigaw ng fans ng UST after mag free-throw ang isang tiger. Ang ibig pala sabihin nito ay I love UST at hindi one point for UST!!

Today, the UST Growling Tigers Men’s basketball team has ended its campaign for the UAAP Season 68. They won against Ateneo last Saturday but lost to the NU today. None of the two matter.

For the 3rd straight season, UST fails to enter the Final Four. But many are predicting that UST is the team of the future. And I am one of those who have high hopes. If Santo Tomas does not make it next season, I am very positive that they will make it come season 70.

Warren de Guzman and Danny Pribhdas played their last games today. They will no longer see action next season. And I am very certain that they are not gonna turn pro immediately. The two are very disappointing. As a team captain, de Guzman did not really step up. He was just there. Well at least, he looks good in his commerce uniform. But that cannot even compensate to his poor showing. Pribhdas, I think is the better scorer compared to the captain. The problem is, he is too selfish. He thinks that he can deliver all the time. He is afraid to pass the ball. Alpha male? Alpha tiger? I won’t mention. Small head, big air.

My favorite tiger would have to be Dylan Ababou. Of course many other share the same opinion especially Bangge and Clang. The guy is a promising player. He can shoot well and can also go for the defensive stop. He also has a nice attitude. Di ko sya nakikitaan ng hangin kapag pumapasok sya sa klase. Well it’s too soon to tell. Sa Filipino ko lang sya kaklase. I believe he is one of the contenders to become Rookie of the Year. Many are hoping he wins.

Among the point guards, I think Japs Cuan did the best job this season. He is not my favorite but he delivered compared to the other tiger play-callers. He is tenacious when defending and is really agile when carrying the ball. Chutzpah is the word that comes to my mind whenever I see him play. Cortez was a disappointment. He did not play with the same energy that he used to. That Crisostomo guy is the cutest. Konting practice pa gagaling din sya.

Chester Taylor and Francis Allera are big time sophomores. Man, did the two step up!! Juniors Evangelista, Dizon and Espiritu also stepped up this season.

But the biggest revelation at the end of the season is Jojo Duncil. That man has heart. He works hard and tries his best to go get that win. Who could ever forget his “ayaw ko ng matalo” line and that shoelace incident during their match against NU? Well those who did not watch the game could.

What the tigers have to do next season is work harder especially on their defense. They may not be the tallest team in the league but they can always make up with their speed and agility. Good luck next season, Tigers. Donna Llabres, I hope you savored every part of your job. I am coming to get it.

***The Others***
UP was close to making it to the Final Four this season but alas, they cannot pull it off. They would still have to wait for another year to try their luck. Abby Santos, Axel Doruelo, Nestor David and cuties Jino Ferrer and Marvin Cruz did a great job this season but their efforts fell short. I think Doruelo is a strong contender for Rookie of the Year.

Host Adamson was perked up at the beginning of the season only to see their F4 dreams get shattered after consecutive losses. I am not a big fan of this team but what I know is Jojo Hate and Patrick Cabahug were the two best falcons and that Marc Agustin is the cutest. Poor him, he got ACL. After that accident, AdU started getting those back to back defeats. Good luck next season.

The NU bulldogs may be the branded as the “punching bags” of the league but they remain an important team because they can always upset another team which is an F4 contender. Edwin Asoro is one of the hardest working cagers in the UAAP and I heard that he also leads the statistical race. It will make me happy to see him in this Season’s mythical five. He is an unpolished, rougher Arwmd Santos.

***The Contenders…Again***

Don’t FEU, UE, ADMU, DLSU just make you sick and tired? They are so good to the point of becoming boring- except for, of course, the UST upset against Ateneo and that controversial game between UE and DLSU.

So which teams do I want to see in the Finals?

In order:

FEU vs UE
UE vs DLSU
FEU vs DLSU

Why is ADMU not included? I just don’t think that this year is their year. Well I still love JC Intal, Macky Escalona, and Martin Quimson. I still find Jai Reyes adorably cute and LA Tenorio haughty and below par. Come the Finals, I believe Doug Kramer will receive the most-improved player award.

The boys from Taft are really hard-workers. They lost their star player Mac Cardona who is turning pro and Joseph Yeo has not really stepped up but they still figured in the F4. I think that the future star of this team will be Rico Meirhoffer only if he will learn to play with more versatility. Joseph Yeo is still the hottest ninja there is amid playing poorly. TY Tang is also adorable so as that Arana guy. Benitez and Cabatu are scary. Coach Franz Pumaren is still the best-dressed coach in the league. But dear Coach Franz, had you not announced that you were retiring last season, there was no doubt in my mind that the coach of the year award would have not landed in your hands. Coach Koy Banal was the more deserving coach last season.

UST may be the Team of the Future but the boys from Recto are the team of the near/er future. Both UST and UE are very young teams but UE still managed to make it to the Final Four. They are also not that far from reaching the Finals. The Warriors are really talented. Their rookies are the most promising. Bonbon Custodio, Canizares, Saguindel, Lagabala, Marcy Arellano, Palaganas don’t fail to amaze me in their every game. But I think that Borboran and the oh-so-cute Elmer Espiritu provided the fire power. The two are neck to neck (sana kami ni Elmer Espiritu lips to lips, hahahaha) for the Rookie of the Year award. Coach DindoPumaren should be named this Season’s coach of the year.

I became a fan of FEU when I got to watch their Round 1 game against ADMU live. The tamaraws are really talented and athletic. Any one of them can drive to the basket and score, most of them can play really good defense. What the other teams have to have to beat this team is a better coach. The FEU players are undoubtedly the best players in the league but their coach Bert Flores is a neophyte and I doubt if he is ready to slug it out if there is a need to especially during crunch time. I wonder why FEU did not renew the contract of coach Koy. Arwind Santos is not as consistent as he used to. Mark Isip surprisingly has an English accent. Jeff Chan is dependable. Jonas Villanueva is just the hottest.

After this season, I think these will emerge as winners:

Champion: FEU
MVP: Arwind Santos. His decision to stay and not turn pro this year is enough to make him MVP.
Coach of the Year: Dindo Pumaren
Mythical 5: Arwind Santos, JC Intal, Bonbon Custodio, Mark Isip, Edwin Asoro
Rookie of the Year: could be: Jonas Villanueva, Mark Borboran, Efren Espiritu, Axel Doruelo, Dylan Ababou.
Most Improved PlayerL Doug Kramer
Most Supportive Girlfriend: Cheska Garcia

Nakakatuwa pala kapag bakla ang nagsusulat ng tungkol sa sports no lalo na kung tungkol sa basketball? Hehehe!!

Go find your princes while I find my frog. God bless us all!!



PS. Happy Birthday sa pinakamamahal kong daddy!! I miss you daddy!!

Princess Diaries

Princess Diaries

Fairy Tales- A fairy tale is a story, either told to children or as if told to children, concerning the adventures of mythical characters.These stories often involve princes and princesses and normally have a happy ending.

Finally, after so much ado, you now find out that this is all what those bulletin board posts are good for. I am the same trash using a different backdrop. The new blog design is courtesy of my favorite blog motherf**ker Aika who is now a Palanca princess. And you are definitely right!! Boasting of Aika’s achievement is definitely not what I am going to write about. I know you’re happy with that.

***Fairy Tales***

When we were younger, we were not spared from all these fairy tales. We read the books; our parents told us the stories before we sleep; we watched the movies. All these made us believe that magic is not far from reality. We believed in fairy godmothers. We loved the princesses and the princes. We loathed all the villains- from Snow White’s wicked stepmother, Cinderella’s cruel stepmother and her ugly sisters to Anastasia’s Rasputin. And who could forget about that tentacled- sea creature Ursula? We all wondered when is once upon a time. We all thought that happy endings are true.

Until we become witnesses to the harsh realities of life- the pandemonium in the streets and the Congress (can you honestly tell the difference between the two?), the prevalent poverty especially in Third World countries, musicians who don’t know how to act but are in the movies, hot babes and delicious men who have bigger breast/ biceps compared to their brains, terrorist attacks, assault to the environment, assault by the environment, rising oil prices. We open our televisions and cringe to see good things in vain. Well at least we are left with the Disney Channel.

***Fairy Tales..not!!***

Until we become victims of that thing called love.

We were made to believe that someday we are going to end up with that handsome prince or that beautiful princess (depends upon one’s preference, there are princes who want princes; there are princesses who fancy princesses more) who will complete us and put the exclamation point in the expression happily ever after.

We enter in relationships hoping that we will be able to find that person who will sweep us off our feet. We turn into cheesebags the moment we realize we now can’t stop thinking about them. We stay in one corner of the classroom with that smile fixed on our faces thinking of the last time we were with our beloved. We do things stupid and crazy just to please those people and show them how much we love them.

Until we are exposed to words such as cheating and unrequited love. Sucker? You bet.

Lately, I just found out that my last ex cheated on me. Before that, I was guilty because I was the one who broke up with him for the reason that I was no longer happy. Until that day I visited his friendster page and found out that he was already seeing someone else when we were still together!! Realizing that was not painful. It was humiliating and incredible. How could a guy his BREED be able or be the one to cheat on me?

***Of Frogs and Princes***
Judging a book by its cover is wrong. This is exemplified in a fairy tale. Once upon a time, a princess saw a frog. He gave the amphibian a kiss and poof!! The frog became a prince. Well I am not sure if the prince lost the stench of a frog.

Sometimes, we desire someone who meets our standards. Someone who is handsome, rich, intelligent, delicious, funny, talented, sweet, a real gentleman, thoughtful and many others. We are lucky if we are able to find someone who at least meets some of those qualificaitions. And because we thought that we have found our real Prince Charming, we give him our all even if it is obvious that we are the only ones who are head-over-heels and the feeling is not reciprocated. Never mind if our friends think we are crazy. We do those things for the pleasure of loving. For the sake of humanity. For the sake of one human being who in our eyes is a god. Or so we thought! Our Prince Charming has just turned into a frog.

And then for the sake of trying, or because we have developed a phobia and became followers of Andre E.’s famous song humanap ka ng pangit, we look for frogs whom we hope we can turn into princes. You’d be fortunate if you become successful at the makeover. But me? I was ill-fated with my last ex. He was a frog. And he remains to be one!! Kerchog!!

Before I thought that I found my prince in Snicker’s person. He passed my prince test with flying colors. I am just not sure if I am his princess.

***Mother Queen***

It is Mama Mary’s birthday today!! Happy birthday Mama Mary!! Thanx for saying “yes” to God’s will.

You just spent some time reading my trash!! Thanx!! Go find your princes while I find my frog!! God bless us all!!